Saturday, November 04, 2006

Full of "F" Words Post

I'm so pissed off with the work culture at my workplace the other day. So I'm gonna use a lot of vulgar words in this entry. For expecting mothers or underage kids, please refrain yourselves from reading this post.

Since this post is about my company, I'll have to rename just about everything so that ......... I dun care actually what could happen to me for saying bad things about my company. Renaming everything is just for the fun of it.

So lets rename the characters in this scenario. Since the company claim that they employ 100% Bumiputera staffs, so lets rename everybody with English names.

Me = Rumet
The Stupid Fucker That Im Pissed Off With = Calvin (for Calvin and Hobbes)
My Boss = Tony Roma (for the famous restaurant)
The Stupid Fucker's subordinate = Hobbes

Lets call the department we are in "Dept Yg Paling Byk Re-Org". The name of the team that the fucker works in will be named "Team Paling Berkira Kerja". And "Team Paling Berkira Kerja"'s job scope is to "Tukar Equipment dan Pasang AVR Sahaja".

So this is the e-mail that I sent to ask for assistance from Team Paling Berkira Kerja. (Actually I tried to call him first, but he was too "busy" fucking Hobbes that he didn't answer.)

" En. Calvin,

Minta jasa baik Team Paling Berkira Kerja untuk memasang router Projek Susah Gila untuk site di atas. Details adalah seperti berikut:

Site X

Address Y,
State Z.

Contact: Miss Hot Babe (019-8xxxxxx)

Untuk makluman En. Calvin, site di atas masih belum berpindah dari tempat
lama iaitu di Wisma Coklat Ding Dang.
Oleh itu minta En. Calvin pasang router baru dahulu di tempat baru supaya
tidak mengganggu penggunaan sistem di bangunan lama.
Juga ingin saya maklumkan supaya membuat appoinment dengan Miss Hot Babe sebelum ke site supaya beliau boleh standby di sana.

Sebarang pertanyaan boleh hubungi saya di 013-3xxxxxx.

UAT dilampirkan.

Harap "

The e-mail was sent at 3:11pm. I didn't receive any reply till I went back home and at around 6.30pm my boss, Tony Roma called me to express his anger towards Calvin's reply. As I arrived home, I immediately boot up my notebook to read his reply.

" Dear Rumet,

We would appreciate if your team could provide a new PRE-CONFIGURED router
for the specified site below. FYI we are quite reluctant to supply the
router from our regional stock as our stock are quite limited and our
priority are towards
TUKAR EQUIPMENT DAN PASANG AVR SAHAJA for any Projek Susah Gila sites which are down. Please understand this.

Also please take into consideration that we are here to do the
TUKAR EQUIPMENT DAN PASANG AVR SAHAJA for any sites which are down and only assisting you in your supposedly assigned job.

Please provide more details on the installation site such as:

Old DQ: ?
Old Speed: ?
Old DLCI Local: ?
Old DLCI remote: ?

New DQ: ?
New Speed: ?
New DLCI Local: ?
New DLCI Remote: ?

Please liaise with En. Hobbes for this relocation issue.


Calvin "

I was so furious that I sms Tony Roma, "Macam sial je Calvin ni, siap bold lagi kerja die tu! Kita pasang sendiri je lah site ni. Kalu boss confirm aku nak je balas e-mail dia ni.Bikin hati gua panas la ni!!"

But then Tony Roma replied, "Relax relax dulu.. aku pon panas jugak baca e-mail die tu."

Being an ass-kisser myself, I respected my boss's reply and take it as a "Dun e-mail him yet".

If Tony Roma gave me the green light to reply that e-mail, this should be it.

" Dear Calvin,

Thank you for your prompt response to our request for assistance. It wouldn't be a problem to us to courier you a PRE-CONFIGURED router for this particular site. But bare in mind that it would take a few days for the router to arrive at your place. Since the configurations for this Projek Susah Gila site is quite straight forward, I hope you wouldn't mind using your regional stock router for the time being, meanwhile we will send you a replacement router for your precious stock. After all, my team will be getting the replacement router from the same department as you do too. If you are unaware of our current Org. Chart, we are all under the same Dept. Yg Paling Banyak Re-Org. Unless your team is incompetent of configuring the router for this Projek Susah Gila, I would be glad to courier the PRE-CONFIGURED router to you. I understand that TUKAR EQUIPMENT DAN PASANG AVR SAHAJA is very different than this task.

As for the information that you've requested, most of the info were given in the UAT form attached to my previous e-mail. Unless you do not know how to extract the attachment from the e-mail, please check the e-mail again. The other information requested is not related to this task. Basically you are asking for useless information from me. I know this assistance that we required from your team is a bit different from your usual TUKAR EQUIPMENT DAN PASANG AVR SAHAJA exercise, trust me, all the info that I've given is enough for you to assist us.

After discussing with my boss, we think that our request for assistance looks like a burden to your team. Obviously Team Paling Berkira Kerja is very busy with TUKAR EQUIPMENT DAN PASANG AVR SAHAJA and we wouldn't want our request for help to effect your team's performance. With that my team will be attending this site on our own as that is our supposedly assigned job. Eventhough by that we'll be spending a lot of money on flight tickets, lodgings and not mentioning time wasted to attend to one single site, its a money well spent rather than getting this kind of response from your team.

With that I would like to apologize for all the inconvinient caused. TQ. "


SME ® said...

aku ghasa aku boleh tangkap watak-watak yang terbabit dlm drama sehari di tingkat 31 ni.
well ....

robotix said...

i'm quite disappointed that there's too little f words in this post despite the title..

Farul said...

yeah. i guess i can find more f word in tapai's blog than this. at least his blog included a tabled guide to "sex during period" which commenters say "a bloody hell of an experience".

robotix said...

here's a guide on how to use the f word properly.. right click and save..

robotix said...

that dosen't turn out well.. here (right click and save)

rumet said...

dalam fikiran aku masa nak tulis blog tu banyak la F word yang terkeluar... bila type hilang plak F words tu.. haha

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